Decisions
Photo by Burst
Let’s talk about decisions.
Decisions are powerful.
They decide our future.
They dictate our direction.
And when we hesitate to make decisions in a quick and certain manner, we quickly find ourselves in a tailspin.
Why do we get so confused when it’s time to make an important decision?
Why do we believe there is such thing as a wrong decision?
Are we really ‘weighing our options’ or are we using confusion as a buffer to keep us safe from actually having to make the decision in the first place?
Whether we are deciding on something small like a new piece of furniture or something huge like an entirely new career, decision making seems to always have this dark cloud of confusion over it.
But confusion is not real.
This dark cloud is completely illusory.
There’s blue skies out here, baby.
We are never really confused when we are hesitant to make a decision— we are only ever afraid.
We are afraid that in the future we will have the thought, “I made the wrong decision.” And that thought will cause us to feel regret.
Our inability to make a decision is coming from the fear of experiencing a negative emotion in the future.
But we are always in charge of how we think and feel.
And ALL of our thoughts are optional.
Even in the thoughts we may have in the future!
But the fear and confusion feels so real because we haven’t yet learned how to choose our thoughts on purpose. We haven’t begun to completely believe that our thoughts cause all of our emotions. Every. single. time.
So it is a legitimate fear when we aren’t yet practicing the how in how to manage our minds.
If we’ve never built this skill, then we will continue to truly believe that the time we spend spinning in confusion is useful.
After all, what we are doing is attempting the impossible of accurately predicting the future to ensure we can avoid feeling shame, guilt, regret, anxiety, or any other negative feeling.
So that feels pretty important.
But in reality we’re just experiencing and imagining the shame, guilt, regret, and anxiety ahead of time, right now.
Make it make sense.
When it comes to the decisions we are making we must recognize that there’s no such thing as right or wrong decisions unless we decide there is.
If we’re aware that we have the option to believe every decision we make is the right one, we can free ourselves from the brain fatigue and chaos of spinning in confusion and constantly jumping back and forth mentally.
Staying stuck in confusion is indulgent.
It’s a time waster.
It’s an ancient coping mechanism that is no longer serving us.
We think the confusion is keeping us safe somehow, but the confusion is exactly what’s prolonging our suffering.
If you want to feel less fear and more certainty,
if you want to trust that you can handle any emotion that may arise in the future,
if you want to choose what you are thinking on purpose and really learn how to be there for yourself emotionally,
then start practicing making quick and certain decisions.
This is one of the best ways to begin learning how to manage your mind and intentionally creating emotions.
Our entire future depends on the decisions we are making right now.
Don’t let fear and confusion hold you back from creating what you know you are capable of.
And even if some day in the future something unexpected happens and things go terribly wrong after a decision you made— don’t make that mean you are sentenced to feel regret and guilt forever more.
Don’t make that mean you’ve failed.
Start choosing to think on purpose, ALWAYS.
And decide that everything happens exactly as it should.
Decide that it’s all an important part of the plan. It’s all a vital aspect of our own unique path. It’s all useful. It’s all beneficial.
This is the immense power of decisions that lives within us.
Don’t let this power continue to lay dormant.
Use it. Begin making quick and certain decisions. Begin trusting yourself, now.
Your friendly coach,
Ellicia
