Undoing Internalized Shame
Photo by Mike Kilcoyne
When you first imagine working with a life coach, it’s totally normal to feel nervous and uncertain about it.
Let me explain why.
Pre life coaching, your mind is still operating out of internalized shame (aka you are compulsively judging and beating the crap out of yourself mentally).
So it makes total sense that this shame is also what’s stopping you from getting started.
Internalized shame makes the very normal, completely harmless feelings of nervousness and uncertainty mean something must be wrong here.
And if it’s true that something is wrong, then of course life coaching won’t be enough to help you in the ways you want.
Shame gets confused and tripped up over little lies constantly.
Because of these little lies in your mind, you never make yourself available to receive real support that would finally help you feel better and more at ease in your life.
Duh, the support would GET RID OF the shame! Shame doesn’t want to leave you. It wants you to hang on to your pain and struggles indefinitely.
So, shame stops you from experiencing anything but the painful stories that it loves to attach to the harmless emotions and circumstances you experience.
(painful stories: I’m never good enough for others. Something is wrong with me. Why am I this way?)
Shame left to its own devices— without any help— will keep you stuck in this painful place as long as you’ll allow it.
Never taking the leap of faith to free yourself from it.
Never betting on something being right with you.
That’s why it’s so important TO start.
The simple reason the internalized shame you have right now is still so strong is because you haven’t decided to receive the help to undo it yet.
If you could undo it on your own, you totally would have by now.
I promise.
But you haven’t.
And here’s why:
Undoing heavily internalized shame is not something that can ever happen in solitude.
It’s not even something that can happen with journaling alone.
(trust me, I’ve totally tried that route. hyper-independent fo life over here! I can do everything all by myself! never trust anyone!!!! that’s me.)
Undoing internalized shame requires a professional who is trained to hold a specific kind of space.
It requires a trained, non-judgmental witness that is OUTSIDE of you who can skillfully point out the painful beliefs you don’t even realize you have about yourself.
It’s very, very difficult to find a truly non-judgmental witness in your family or friend groups, they all have opinions and painful stories of their own that they love to accidentally project onto you, that’s why you must use a professional.
And unless you’ve got loads of professional life coaches who specialize in undoing shame blowin’ up your inbox today, I’m just here to say:
hey… that’s me. I’m that professional. Ready to work with you.
Ready to tackle your internalized shame together.
Not only do you discover the origins of your internalized shame in my program, you also receive a permanent way out of it.
It’s the one powerful awareness shift you have been wanting and looking for.
So yes, it IS uncomfortable to stop letting shame control you, but that discomfort doesn’t mean something has gone wrong and you should run away.
It actually means you are moving closer to your freedom.
Keep going.
Love ya,
Ellicia
P.S. Ready to undo your internalized shame and don’t want to wait any longer before you get started? Then your one next step is to schedule your free 60 minute consultation by clicking below. It’s ok to be nervous and uncertain while you do it, welcome it in and prepare yourself for the magical experience that comes when you are finally freed from shame.
